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When You Are Single Single
When you are single single you do what you have to in order to take care of things as they come up. Nowadays the second single matters. 😉 Being a single woman, you have to be resourceful and that is something I have always been. As I shared in my Building Community & Giving Back post, I have found it hard to build a strong community in Oregon as opposed to in Michigan and Texas. As such, I have had to rely on myself even more. A couple of days ago I noticed my ice maker was not making as much ice. Finally, by last night it stopped altogether.…
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What We Are Not Doing in 2021
I was texting with someone I love today and part of that conversation was around what we are not going to do in 2021. We are not going to be rehab for men, or women for that matter We are not being too nice We are not putting ourselves second (or third, fourth, fifth…) to others We are not going to comfort others or make them feel ok after they have treated us badly I have been on a quest of prioritizing myself again after I divorced. I had been consuming myself with thoughts of “I should have left him sooner” and “I picked him over me.”…
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Building Community & Giving Back
Being a part of a community is very important to me, which is something I shared with my sorority sisters and close friends in Michigan and Texas. However, I have found it hard to build a community in Oregon. I have felt lonely at times, not because I do not have a relationship, but because I do not have a tribe, a community that I belong to and that feeds my soul. I have always liked giving back. Ok, not always… but my father was determined to show my brothers and me to do and be better when we were selfish, self-absorbed teenagers. I have not been as engaged…
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Mi Tia/My Aunt
A couple of nights ago I was thinking about my late tia (aunt) Migdalia, who was married to my dad’s brother. I am not sure what, in particular, triggered my memories of her but, I could envision her so vividly in my mind. I recalled 0ne memory in particular, one that I think about every so often. My cousin got married in the late 90s and the night before the wedding we were all hanging out after the rehearsal dinner. There was a buzz in the room as different pockets of family and friends were talking among themselves. Eventually, my tia got up to make a speech. During her remarks, she began to…
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2021 Inauguration
I did not realize how much I needed today. My soul needed today! Watching the inauguration and seeing the diversity, hearing Biden cheer for Harris after taking her oath with Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Biden’s speech, and the amazing poem by Amanda Gorman, it was all so beautiful and motivational. We have been through a lot as a country and have a lot of work in front of us, and today felt like a good start toward change. I was definitely not prepared for how emotional I got. I loved the pride that was on display. From Lady Gaga singing the national anthem to Garth Brooks’ rendition of Amazing…
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What Women Face
Tomorrow the first woman Vice President of the United States will take the oath at the inauguration. I saw a picture on social media of Kamala Harris reminding us that today, January 19, 2021, is the last day that a woman has never been vice president. The fact that a woman, daughter of immigrants, who is Black and South Asia will be the first woman to hold this office is momentous for many of us. The fact that my daughter can see herself in madam vice president is meaningful to me. The cherry on top is that she will be sworn in by Justice Sonia Sotomayor, weeepaaa! As…
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Unapologetically Letting Go
I have found that to live my life unapologetically, I had to process and let go of my daughter’s father. I do not call him my ex because he is not “my” anything, anymore. My daughter is mine; so he is my daughter’s father to me. Anyone who has been through a divorce will likely know that letting go is a process. Sometimes, that process takes longer than expected. I am here to tell you, that for the past three years, I have done the proverbial work people talk about. I have been to counseling, I processed with people I love, I even did a group program for betrayed…
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Teaching Self-Love
When my daughter Amarilis was a baby, I took her to Starbucks. She was in her car seat as I waited for my drink. I looked up and a young white girl walked in, she was probably in high school. There was something about her that caught my attention and I remember thinking she was a cute girl. I then looked down at my beautiful baby girl and I thought to myself how much harder it would be for her growing up in this world as a black woman. I was determined to help Amarilis love herself, even if our society didn’t show her the love she deserved.…
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Recommit
When I was defending my dissertation, I wanted something that I could physically touch to remind myself that God was with me and that I could do it!! I went to the closest Target and found a string bracelet that had a cross, it was also brown and gold which are my sorority colors, I felt it was a sign. I bought it and wore it on March 24, 2014. I passed my dissertation defense on that day. As 2021 started, I once again found myself wanting something tangible that could serve as a reminder of what I wanted for this year. I was on Instagram and I saw an…
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Starting a New
Today is January 1, 2021. I am starting this new year on a quest to truly find my happiness and live unapologetically and boldly. I lost myself along the way, working, being married, becoming a mom, getting a divorce, and the next thing I know… I am in my forties living a life I had no intention of living. For the past few years, I have been trying to live an authentic unapologetic life but I do not feel like I have truly succeeded. However, 2020 reminded me, once again, that life is short. I can’t keep living my life for others. I can’t keep being this version of myself.…